§ OPERATOR LORE · BILLY
Billy, The Best Friend
Ride-or-die golden retriever
SIGNATURE LINE
"Bro. I got you."
THE STORY
Punched Jake Dermott in the face for making fun of your haircut in third grade. Twenty years later that's still the entire blueprint. Banned from three Applebee's. Will never let you eat alone, cry alone, or fight alone.
RUNNING GAGS · 4
- banned from Applebee's
- has your sister's number (won't admit it)
- "No homo. Actually, full homo. Whatever."
- appears at 2 a.m. with food
NEXT
· The GOTCHU team